A secret holding

waking up at 1 am to the soft hum of the fan
my body tormented with the heat
waking again near 6, feeling I should tumble out of bed and into the day

a cooling morning
dreams filled with more strangeness
me as the good guy battling semi-supernatural beings –
who are just people passing though, really

good days brush up against the bad days, which are unpredictable
like so many other things.
I manage to find slices of happiness, passion where I can
images dancing in books, text shifting before my eyes.

Again, I am unsure as to what I will be wearing today
my sleepy eyes attempting to drown my face
certainly, it would be nice if I could suspend every afternoon
just to spend some time with you.

7.29.2008

JMG

A sense of order

Rather than recreating the exercises from the week before, I spent a nice bit of my Saturday putting my poems in some kind of order. This was, of course, after I realized the exercises needed to simmer a bit longer before I would have the ability to recreate them into something other than what they are now.

And so, I shall continue on with my weekly experiment, which is more to get me motivated to get out of bed in the morning than anything else. The writing bit is immensely productive too.

I also managed to finish Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood and purchased Comic Book Tattoo.

A type of blessing

floating a dream across the smooth waters of unconsciousness
last night’s pillow talk impregnating existing secrets with anxiety
a thought worth following slips away like steam
the void of you is all I have.

7.25.08
JMG

Schedule attempt

For the past 4 days, I’ve made an attempt to get up an hour before I need to in order to write. Instead of allowing myself to feel disappointment at the failure to immediately produce a poem at 7 am, I have started to just do “exercises” which are really false start poems and snippets of journal entry like thoughts. On Saturday I’ll read through these exercises and see what comes from my half asleep mind.

The second half of this daily schedule requires me to make an honest attempt at writing a few complete poems once I get home from work. The biggest issue with this part is that the internet is a constant beacon for procrastination. The ultimate goal in all this is to refamiliarize myself with writing, since I had set it aside while I figured a few things out.

Silly me, writing helps me figure things out.