Monthly Archives: April 2009


Anxious dreams
waking frustrations translated by
ill fitting footwear and slacks
an increasing inability to create pleasing pairs
a throb – an ache
the indication of an impending low
perhaps reaching the level of no return
no more good mornings, no more pleasant afternoons
this blameless condition
– lacking all sense of upheaval –
has paralyzed me
stealing the last traces of hope.

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a continuation
new beginning?

either way — sludge: my brain becomming is

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dreams peppered with masked men
caustic happenings.
in my half-asleep condition I am spinning in circles –
hair cutting patterns in my face.


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Plus two

recesses –
I am plummeting casually.
Mind warped and desires jaded:
what interests me is what led us both astray.

Your thick fingers wrapping a noose around me –
this sense of creativity looming
mourning days, a haggard weeping
we both know what I’ve been seeking.

here: my palm stretched out to you
another offering for your box of treasures
flip the reasoning –
there is nothing left of me to give.


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I am determined to figure out what life changes need to be made in order for me to be truly happy.

There has got to be a better way to balance the things we have to do with the things we would rather do. A dreamer, perhaps. But when you think about it, society has really managed to fuck things up. More complicated should not equal more wasteful and more frustration.

This isn’t what life should be about.

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It begins as a soft ache
mouth tinged with the taste of metal
swelling upward from my jaw – covering the entire side of my face

pre-mature sunshine bliss fading
another afternoon of watering eyes,
distorted tongues and the high pitched grinding in my ears.

I would pray for silence
if I thought it would do any good.

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Again I awake to this

Throbbing made worse by waking,

If yesterday multiple attempts were made,
what of today?
Again I am looking for the cause, the reason.

Unable to relieve this menace by absence –
remaining solution: to excise a portion of day.
more restlessness, discomfort, chest tension and despair.

A series more of unrelated side effects:
loss of motivation,
sleep deprivation,
jumbled communication.

Is it in sight?


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