when your goals demand you find motivation
when your goals demand you find motivation
disappointment and relief
what would happen if you actually tried?
Write what it means to give something of your self away. Your fears. Your goals. Your intense vulnerability. Your rage. Your forgiveness.
Write about the differences that appear from one year to the next. Write about your mind-state from 2013, 2003, from what you might like to expect in 2023. Be fearless, or write from the perspective of your main character. Whatever rocks your fingers.
a decision against children
2013 is the year I get serious about my writing. It’s always been one of those things that sort of lingers reluctantly in the background, my voice too scared to speak aloud, Yes, I am a poet, for fear of being viewed as a flighty person. One whose head is stuck in the clouds.
It’s probably all just me projecting – this, too, I’m getting over.
I don’t really jump into things as much as you might think. I’ve actually been ramping up to this seriousness since the end of July 2012, when I started regularly posting the writing prompts. By the time November hit, I was ready to take my motivation and drive to the next level by challenging myself to participate in NaNoWriMo. I completed the task, though the story I had worked on is not yet complete. I’ll get there by the end of this year.
At the beginning of December, I attended a Poetry Chapbook workshop, not because I was especially interested in creating a chapbook, but because I wanted to interact with the poetry community that surrounds me. The workshop provided me with exactly what I wanted, plus a list of chapbooks I wanted to buy and some writer resources I was intent on trying out. With the holidays around the corner, I was fortunate that my various family members gifted me with the items I had on my list.
For 2013, I have made the commitment to invest in myself and in the resources at my disposal. Specially:
My 2013 goals for this writing life are fairly similar to those in years past, though with increased goal numbers. What can I say? I’m a girl that likes continuous improvement.
Lastly, I’ve got some plans for the blog – reorganization type things, featured items (hint: possibility of guest poets, chapbook/poetry book reviews, and more!)
Please leave a comment if you’ve got some ideas on how I can improve the site or if there are specific things you’d like to see.
In these instances, we need to break out of our comfort zones.
Write about breaking out or the boundaries of your comfort zones. Write a different you, or a same you with slightly skewed qualities.
In an effort to continue my motivation with writing past November, I have enrolled in a chapbook workshop for early December. Though I feel I sortof know what I’m supposed to do surrounding this, I signed up because I figure it can’t hurt to be around other people that are looking for the same thing. Community motivation, let’s call it.
I already have a chapbook/series in mind and have been diligently posting new poems on Wattpad every week or every couple of weeks. There are 25 poems in all, and I have 19 that have already been uploaded. I haven’t decided yet how I’m going to put the physical version together and have been contemplating creating the book myself – sortof an extra arts & crafts project that I can use to occupy my time. Whatever I wind up deciding, I’m excited with the prospect.
In my post from yesterday, I mentioned that I do not write to be published, which is true. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t want something to show for my efforts. Creating a physical chapbook to share with others is one way to have a more concrete final product.
I’ve finally worked through the demons in my head that on one hand say:
Write, because you need to!
Only to immediately follow up with:
Why bother? No one cares/will read it anyway.
I don’t know what changed in me to make it finally OK for me to stand up to myself – to battle with the voices of the cranky, negative editor and decide that this passion I have is for me and no one else. The joy I get from it is my own and any other positive effects it has on others that stumble across the path is pure bonus. This is the shift in mentality that I’ve been riding for the past few months. I feel like I’ve finally broken through from the internal voices that tell me I’m not good enough, that I shouldn’t tell people that, Yes, I am a Poet.
You know what, voices? You can stuff it. I’ve got better things to do than be silenced by you.
As I mentioned in my previous post, this is my first year attempting the NaNoWriMo, despite being aware of it for some time now. When I originally decided I would do it, I was conflicted with my desires to begin the story as I thought of it in mid-October for fear that I would lose steam and not be able to think of anything by the time November 1 came along. Fortunately, in this case anyway, I was distracted with this little thing called, life and my day job and so I didn’t wind up starting on the world creation until the “designated time.”
At seven days in, I’m ahead of schedule. Both for myself and for the suggested word-count from the handy NaNo chart. Though I haven’t put fingertips to keyboard for the story yet today, I am confident that I’ll be able to maintain my lead. This is especially important, as November is also the most hectic month for me from a family standpoint, as I’m sure it is for other folks in the U.S.
The best part about this experience seven days in is that I’m thinking about writing all the time now. Rather than just at a few intervals through the day as I’m trying to conjure the next Daily Writing Prompt. There have been a few occasions where I sit back and think, Oh Great, what now? when I’ve been puzzling over a particular scene or and starting to get bored with what I’m working on. In those instances, I throw some more packing tape over the mouth of my internal editor and I just keep plowing forward. I’ll edit out the junk and the redundancy once the project is over. Right now my goal is to just get it all out on paper.
The other great thing about this project is that I refused to end the day until I had written at least a few words. Last night I wasn’t able to get to my self-imposed quantity of 1600, but I put at least something down so I could continue to feel success. In this, writing is a lot like setting up an exercise regime. Sometimes you don’t want to do it, but you know you should and you always feel better once you finish, even if it wasn’t your best workout session.
So, there it is. Seven days in and I’m still optimistic. I’m not going to get overwhelmed with the fact that I still have a ridiculous number of pages to keep writing. For now, I’m going to keep my sights on the small goals.